Hold my Purse

http://www.nathaliedee.com/

I work in downtown. Sometimes when I have time, I'll go for a walk in the underground mall. During the summer, i see a lot of students shopping and just hanging out in the mall. A few weeks ago, I saw this Asian guy walking with his girlfriend. They were holding hands, so i assumed it was his girlfriend. On the other side of him was a LV bag slung onto his shoulder. The girl had both arms free...In my relationship with Kev, I don't think I have ever asked him to hold my purse. I might have asked him to watch my purse when we're out for dinner and I needed to make a trip to the ladies room. But never asked him to carry my purse. I figured that if I liked my purse enough to buy it with my hard earned money, I should like it enough to carry it (use it). Afterall, it contains some of the most important things in my life; my ID, my keys, my cellphone, my credit card...Why should he carry my life around when i should be protecting it?

I did a little research on google about the sociological theories about a man holding a woman's purse. The most obvious argument was about the man's masculinity. A "real" man buys tampons and carries the purse without complaint. It shows he is comfortable with himself and his manhood. However, to contradict this, a man who carries his woman's purse get dealt the "gay card". But this is kind of dumb, because if he's holding his girl's purse, he's clearly not into men. It also deals with the question of who wears the pants in the relationship. If a man carries his girl's purse, he is whipped (not manly). So if he carries the purse, he's a "real" man, but at the same time he's a wuss for being whipped?

Now what if he refuses to carry the purse? He refuses to protect his manhood, to prove he wears the pants and that he is the MAN. But then, by refusing it, he's depicted as insecure about his manhood, which makes him perceived as less of a man...He's manly for refusing it, but perceived as not being manly enough for refusing it, so which one is it? There is no winning. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I stumbled upon a discussion board about this and here are some interesting things to ponder:

• Some people say it's ok to hold a woman's purse if it's only for a few seconds. For example, when she's tying up her hair or shoe lace...but not okay if it's for longer than a minute. However, it's okay to hold it for more than a minute if you're standing near a bathroom or dressing room because then people assume his girlfriend is in the bathroom or trying on clothes. Side note: why is it that when a man holds a purse, he's automatically labelled as taken? Why can platonic friends be helpful? Why can't a male friend hold a female friend's purse with no naughty intentions? Hey...it could happen.
• Some people said "Hold it, don't wear it". By holding it, peeps mean to scrunch it up like he's holding a bag of garbage and trying to not let the stinky air out. So manly!
• There was also a discussion about what kind of purse. The girlier the purse the better, because then people will not assume he's just holding a murse (man purse). i.e. Toki doki purse versus a regular black leather bag.
• When holding a purse for his woman, make faces. i.e. the "it's not mine" eyebrow raise and shrug.